ryan jaso's blog

Josh Hamilton type relapse

2009-08-12T11:07:00.002-04:00

seriously though....i'm done....starting now

Black don't rub off

2009-08-07T10:25:00.000-04:00

Friday Morning Knockout

2009-08-07T09:03:00.002-04:00

We watched this over and over again last night at my place and couldn't stop laughing. that's what you get for wearing a pink hat, homo

You Lucky Fuck

2009-08-06T13:38:00.003-04:00

so big willy's cousin kyle traded some crappy used cleveland 3 wood to some moron for a scotty cameron. well, turns out that cameron was a circle T. So kyle's walking around now holding a freakin lottery ticket and this retard he swindled is none the wiser.

Holy shit did we just get love from the Stool?

2009-08-06T12:46:00.002-04:00

other than the Devil Rays gloss i'd say we did. but there are still WAY too many P.O.S sox fans at the game for me. just want to punch every one of those band waggoning a-holes in the face.

How The Fuck Is The Trop That Loud?

This oughta get you losers jacked up on a Thursday morning

2009-08-06T09:17:00.002-04:00

Green Man

2009-08-04T13:38:00.003-04:00

Just in case you guys were wondering where Green Man has been hiding lately, apparently he's been following Tiger around the country, just waiting for the right time to dance.

So Rashaad Evans is actually pretty funny

2009-08-04T10:04:00.001-04:00

check out the video, he impersonates mike tyson and then his mom around the 22 minutes mark. it's freakin hilarious.

WTF?????

2009-08-03T14:12:00.002-04:00

somebody get some Kryptonite QUICK because that kid is going to be taking over the world in a few years if we don't do something to stop it...

This is why i love Gator Creek

2009-08-03T09:51:00.003-04:00

(FMJ)
Thanks again Blumster for the hookup, sorry we forced you to look at our bare chests on 18 but it was worth every awkward second. next time the shirt comes off right around 10, then the 2nd or 3rd tee, and after that i probably won't even bring a shirt. maybe one to throw on before i go in the clubhouse and slam a patty melt. but seriously i want white bread next time, none of that marbled rye shit.

(Big Willy)

Nevermind-Townhouse off the Market

2009-08-03T09:30:00.004-04:00

the minute i put that thing up on Craigslist my phone just started to blow up. Definitely should have upped the asking price (considering i've gone from getting $1200 a month to $925) but i'm just glad to have it off the plate. Had 3 showings saturday, everyone loved it, one couple so much that they decided to take it right on the spot. i'll tell you what, i felt like alec baldwin in Glengarry Glenross saturday night. think i missed my calling as a real estate salesman. A-B-C bitches, A-always, B-be, C-closing--always be closing--ALWAYS BE CLOSING.

Monday Morning Kick in the Balls

2009-08-03T09:02:00.002-04:00

can you guess what's about to happen? no? click here to find out

After 3 years, Our townhouse is back on the Rental Market

2009-07-31T15:24:00.004-04:00

So i hate to be self-serving on the blog--wait, nevermind--but our tenants are moving out of our townhouse at the end of August and i just wanted to be an APB out there for anyone who knows anyone that might need a place to live. i actually put the thing up on craigslist just over an hour ago and already have two showings scheduled but those first few rarely pan out. check out the link, like i said, tell your friends, if you still have any left...

So Wilt and ATG are apparently pretty big

2009-07-31T15:23:00.002-04:00

Arnold looks like freakin Mini Me

Friday Morning Knockout

2009-07-31T09:54:00.000-04:00

TIMBERRRRRRRRRRR!

Short Fight Fat Kid Knockout - Watch more Fights

Douchebag name generator

2009-07-31T09:51:00.002-04:00

it's amazingly accurate. see for yourself

Kelly Kapowski has a shit ton of stuff going on right now

2009-07-29T14:43:00.001-04:00

Tiffani Thiessen is Busy from Tiffani Thiessen

Hot Tub Time Machine

2009-07-29T13:12:00.000-04:00

Quite Possibly the greatest thing ever

2009-07-29T11:07:00.002-04:00

Try JibJab Sendables® eCards today!

God i look like an Asshole

2009-07-29T10:07:00.005-04:00

yep, that's me doing a one handed cartwheel at RT's wedding. son of a bitch. why do i have to be suck a jackass all the time? sure, it seemed funny 10 beers in but at 10am on a wednesday morning i just look like a moron. i'd like to take the time to apologize to my lovely wife jenn, who has to put up with this shit on a regular basis, and to my parents for ruining the good jaso name that they spent a lifetime cultivating. if you want to see more wedding/reception pics go to this website, click on client viewing, user name: humphreys, password: 13361

Wednesday Morning Submission

2009-07-29T09:24:00.002-04:00

it shouldn't surprise me that someone from the Cobra Kai would be able to pull off something this sweet but i'd imagine that the flying armbar is a tough move for a dude that looks like he's 6'10" (could be the camera angle).

He's no pink gorilla

2009-07-28T14:05:00.006-04:00

but still pretty damn cute. also figured i'd throw in a couple more pics of the parents to be from our epic night at Mi Pueblo. Why so epic you ask? cause i'm listening to rome and it's the only adjective i can think of. btw, it just took me like 30 seconds to figure out how to spell adjective, and 5 minutes to determine that i had in fact used it in the proper context.

FMJ

2009-07-28T09:59:00.004-04:00

More fat kids here

Monday Morning Kick in the Nuts

2009-07-26T20:03:00.001-04:00

We are the Champions!

2009-07-26T19:57:00.002-04:00

first flight champs bitches. recognize. Quick synopsis: we took the lead over saturday with two wins, but end up playing both teams that are nipping at our butts on sunday. we're two up with two to go in the first match, then lose the last two to push, with both rich and i three putting on the final green. we then end up playing the group who took over the lead and just bash the shit out of them. i went upcock all weekend (i'll show you ladies what i mean personally), and just smashed it. the new scotty held it's own, for the most part, but we still need some work on the greens. all in all just an awesome week, now looking forward to getting back to the office so i can get some rest.

Look at these two faggots

2009-07-25T00:55:00.001-04:00

can you believe that two people would actually dress like this? anyhow, sorry for the lateness of the update, but we had a slip and slide party to go to with fat chicks so i wasn't able to post this early. rich and i are in second place after the first day, playing pretty well, just need to win the next 4 matches to take another trophy home.

I've got a new Number 1

2009-07-21T21:14:00.004-04:00

yep, topping the golf course list for this year, and POSSIBLY ever, Yale University Golf Club. even though it set me back $200 to play (for both rich and i), i was somehow able to take my mind off of that and focus on one of the most spectacular and treacherous layouts i've ever set foot on. the 6800 yard Par 70 course isn't overly long, but miss your tee shot even just a little bit and kiss your ball goodbye in the fescue that surrounds just about every fairway. and the hard part doesn't even start until you get around the greens. 2 story deep bunkers are everywhere, and some of the greens make Augusta look like a pitch and putt (9th green below).

luckily we met up with someone from the area, a canadian tour player who grew up on the course and showed us around. coolest thing about it was he played golf at FSU and graduated in 02. so if anyone happens to know jim bakersfield (or beasley i forgot) he's alive and well. although i just googled him and found no one even close to that name either on the candian tour or in the FSU golf archives so he may have been using an alias. regardless, he was good, and he helped me break 90 during a rain soaked round today.

Monday Morning Hit in the Balls

2009-07-20T14:33:00.001-04:00

This should have been ranked the best UFC fight of all time

So Much to Say...

2009-07-20T10:19:00.001-04:00

....so little time. between Tom Watson ALMOST winning the Open at 59, TV finally getting his willy whacked, and my two strikeouts last night in slow pitch softball i just don't think i'll have the time to get to all of it before i leave. so in the mean time, here's a picture of tim doing karaoke to keep you entertained.

My friends are idiots

2009-07-17T10:08:00.000-04:00

they know how to make one sweet ass potato gun though

Friday Morning Knockout

2009-07-17T09:22:00.002-04:00

knockout not real impressive but i just love everyone's reaction

Tiger seems irritated

2009-07-17T09:11:00.002-04:00

Boo hoo. am i the only one who is sick of this guys whining? stop flinging your club around like a little pussy and play golf. What's that you say? you hit it 4 yards off line? SHIT! why didn't you tell me? nevermind, whine away. 4 fucking yards just might equal the end of mankind as we know it. either that or it won't make one fucking bit of difference and you'll hop back on your G5, fly back to your freakin mansion on Jupiter Island and bang your model wife while your maid cleans the shit stains out of your golden toilet.

It's Glorious!!!

2009-07-16T14:50:00.002-04:00

my new putter that is. it came in about an hour ago and my dick is still rock hard. that freakin thing looks immaculate. probably better than new. now if you'll excuse me, i need to find a bucket of ice or a naked picture of bee arthur-stat.

It's Business Time

2009-07-16T10:01:00.001-04:00

man i love these guys

You're so beautiful-you could be a waitress

2009-07-16T09:48:00.001-04:00

15 more FOC songs here

Pool Basketball Tricks

2009-07-15T15:20:00.002-04:00

whatever, we were doing stuff cooler than this 10 years ago. unfortunately that was pre-youtube so that's the only reason me, stanton, JCATO, and gadget aren't famous. i know you everyone is thinking, JCATO can't dunk. well, that's true, but he got posterized more times than Lebron James at a Nike basketball camp so that's got to count for something. BTW, assuming i ever get the reunion info (JIMMY), the hoop has been revitalized and the Jaso pool is just waiting for another party. luckily this time we won't have to sneak beer into the house.

Nice Desktop Fag

2009-07-15T11:15:00.002-04:00

It Must be Fate

2009-07-15T09:09:00.003-04:00

Greetings ryan ,

We have completed the customization, restoration, and/or authentication
process for order #130537 and shipped the following back to you:

catalina

We use FedEx as our return carrier and have listed a tracking number
below. To view the progress of your putter, please go to
http://www.scottycameron.com/customization/login.asp?r=cputters.

that's right boys and girls, i'll have my scotty back friday. which i figure is just enough time to use it once this weekend and put in the bag for next weeks member guest. hell, if i can get one full round out of her the catalina will have seen more course time than my last 5 putters combined.

Chase sues itself

2009-07-14T15:41:00.002-04:00

and representing the side of Chase, is Dan Mckillop. at least i think, actually, i'm not real sure, this video is confusing as hell. but congratulations to Dan (or mike), you finally made the blog.

Sweep the Leg Johnny

2009-07-14T13:02:00.000-04:00

Shut your Mouth or i'll fuck it

2009-07-14T10:58:00.000-04:00

that's what i would have said to the guy. knocking him the hell out was a good strategy too though.

Redneck Camp Fire Fight Kid Gets 3 Punch Destruction

I didn't realize we were cooking up cans of whoop ass. I thought we only brought cans of beans.

Get humor videos at NothingToxic

Ha, Endowed

2009-07-14T09:28:00.002-04:00

tell you what, i was endowed with a full head of hair back then. and don't ask me why i'm going through old pics. i'm just bored.

Tuffy Jordan

2009-07-14T09:20:00.004-04:00

thank bill willy for the cool story about coach jordan and his old man (click here for link)

Question

2009-07-13T15:02:00.004-04:00

When is the New York State Open golf tournament held this year

Answer

The New York State Open will be contested July 21-23, at Bethpage Black.

Reaction

FFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCKKKKKKKK

Why so pissed?

because those aholes over at golf digest put out a list of the 100 greatest courses this summer and i realized i hadn't played any of them. Pine Barrens used to be there, not anymore. So did Spanish Bay, no mas. Think even Kapula Plantation course was there, now not s0 much. I realized that if there was a time to get on some awesome golf courses it was this summer (considering how poor everyone is) and my one chance at the top 100 is now blown because the only day i could play bethpage (ranked 29th btw) was the 21st. i guess Ridgewood is a nice second option but until it makes it into the top 100 i'm not bragging about playing it. but i have played some pretty awesome places in this last couple months, for those of you who care here's the list of my 10 favorite:

10. Founders Club
9. Innisbrook Copperhead
8. The Conservatory
7. Ginn Hammock Ocean Course
6. Half Moon Bay
5. Gator Creek
4. Concession
3. Tilden Park
2. Old Memorial
1. Bethpage...oh...wait, nevermind

Still got Southern Hills coming up after the member guest at Ridgewood so there's still some good golf to be played but that Bethpage thing took some wind out of my sails so i may not be the same for the next few weeks.

So Frank Mir got his ass whopped

2009-07-12T09:37:00.003-04:00

Which cost me $10. thanks dickhead. feel free to put up a fight next time. not that i'm real surprised, brock is the new smashing machine, and i'm pretty sure the only person who can beat him at this point in time is fedor. of course, that fight will probably never happen, since dana white can't open up his purse wide enough to entice the best fighter EVER into the Octagon. Luckily for me there were other fights last night, and both GSP and Hendo put up entertaining-dominant performances. now it's time for GSP to drag his ass up to 185 so he and the Spider can get it on, since no one in there perspective weight classes can touch those dudes.

My one post for the day

2009-07-09T22:26:00.003-04:00

i'll give a real quick explanation because i want to go to bed. last week, we were at some hooker party that joe aires (hitch) threw and there were some MMA gloves in the garage so arshall decided to put them on and have a UFC style face-off/photo op with everyone in attendence. pretty damn hilarious actually. anyway, this is my attempt to match his intensity. we ended up rolling around for a few minutes afterwards but i didn't get him sandy so it was fine...

Hello Little Rampage

2009-07-08T20:51:00.002-04:00

this video is probably on every blog this side of the mississippi but i haven't had time to check anything else today so here you go

EMBED-Rampage dry humps Cagepotato Reporter - Watch more free videos

Duh, i'm out of town

2009-07-08T20:37:00.004-04:00

calm down everyone, i'll throw in a blog or two this week but like i said in a previous post, i'm attending rocket tit's (pic above) wedding this week and am down here on the east coast killing time till the ceremony kicks off. you all know RT, mangel banged her pre-boobies. personally i think it's gross, if you're a chick and you don't have at least a full C don't even look in my direction. even if i don't know you, chances are i hate you. don't blame yourself, blame your mom for the ugly, disgusting, hideous, she male you turned out to be.

I'm the Big Winner!

2009-07-07T09:28:00.003-04:00

that's right, my 86 beat steve lowe's 88 and kyle (DB) clayton's 91. plus, i beat like 14 people which is 13 more than i beat at Bardmoor. if you want to know, i had 4 three putts on the first seven holes, then went to the claw and dominated those greens. but two triple bogies after losing tee shots didn't help the cause. at least i didn't have a straight up chip yip on the first hole--kyle. won't be long now till they find their way into your full swing and you start slapping it around like Ian Shaker Flinch.
Old Memorial Results
Sara Bay Results

Tuesday Morning Kick in the Balls

2009-07-07T09:16:00.003-04:00

i'm not going to lie, i would have rather been woken up like this at 7am than having my regular alarm clock wake me up at 4:45am yesterday morning.

I'm Back Baby

2009-07-07T08:45:00.003-04:00

well, sort of, for a little bit at least. headed to missile tits wedding this week over in jupiter so going to be out the next few days. and got an ass load of crap to catch up on before we leave. While i'm here, i might as well mention that i got to play both Old Memorial and Founders Club yesterday--like a boss! Recognize. We'll talk about the scores in the next post...

Friday Morning Knockout

2009-07-03T16:24:00.003-04:00

yeah i know it's 4:30pm but i just woke up so it's like morning. to make up for my lateness, i'm handing out two knockouts for the price of one.

Warning: Fireworks are dangerous

2009-07-02T09:37:00.002-04:00

Do not, i repeat, DO NOT shoot them up your bum. otherwise this will happen:

Old Memorial is the fucking Tits

2009-07-01T09:35:00.004-04:00

Holy shizit that place is bad ass. KC and willy, you boys are missing out. have fun over at sara bay douche, a course you've played 100 times, i'll be enjoying a day of luxury at one of the most exclusive country clubs in FL. but seriously, sara bay is nice too. i partically like the net they have in the back of the iron range, and those famous donald ross turtle shell greens. and when i shoot 90 at a real golf course keep the laughter to yourself, because that 81 you pulled out of your ass will still keep you 15 shots or so out of qualifying for the FL open. Check out this golf digest article about the locker room if you want your pants to tighten a little bit...

Submission Wednesday

2009-07-01T09:33:00.002-04:00

not really a submission persay, mainly just a highlight reel of rickson stomping mudholes. if that doesn't get you jacked on up a wednesday morning i don't know what will.

14-RicksonGracieHQ

Holy fucking shitballs

2009-06-29T15:55:00.000-04:00

Monday morning kick in the balls

2009-06-29T10:58:00.001-04:00

Bye Bye Billy

2009-06-29T10:00:00.002-04:00

i would hate for this to overshadow the monumental occasion that is shmoopy's anniversary but legend--wait for it--dary pitchman billy mays has died, and i believe that deserves a little mention. sure, billy mays was no shamwow vince but he dominated the shit out of this ESPN commercial. hell, he's probably the reason that ESPN's still on the air. i'm telling you, they had to do something about that "who's more now" bullshit and bringing live sports to your PC i'm sure saved them from being dropped from the airwaves completely. so thank you billy mays, live sports at work is way better than work at work. unfortunately, my job is still just as soul crushing as it's ever been.

Happy Anniversary Shmoopy

2009-06-29T09:31:00.001-04:00

no you're shmoopy. anyhow, it's been a year (and a day) for rob and kelly so anyone who still checks this thing and gives a shit should call and congratulate them. or don't, it doesn't matter. they probably don't want to hear from you anyhow. especially ODC. why do you think they moved up north to begin with? i heard it was to get away from you. hey, don't shoot the messenger.

Vinsanity!

2009-06-26T09:25:00.002-04:00

Magic trade for Vince Carter

The Daytona Beach native was at his basketball camp in Orlando when word broke.

"They handed me the phone, and I was surprised. In fact I was shocked that it happened. I thought it was a joke to be honest with you because it was my brother that called me. He was in Jersey."

Vince Carter knows exactly why he was brought here. The Magic will be expected to win the NBA title.

"I just want to take this team one step further if i can."

The move gives Orlando that "go to guy" it so desperately needed in the Finals, but comes at a huge cost. The team is not likely now to resign Hedo Turkoglu, and gave up several role players to get Vinsanity. They now have just 7 players on the roster, and no salary cap room to add more.

Jacko on his Backo - Permanantly

2009-06-25T20:13:00.003-04:00

Well Michael Jackson bit the dust. now hundreds of young boys with retarded/gold digging parents can rest at ease. and as good as that is, its important to remember that the king of pop brought us some classic songs...from billy jean to thriller, he will be remembered forever more every time song drunk chick gets enough change for the juke box.....

special note: Farrah Fawcet also died today from cancer, and although she was before my time, the old guys at work said she was a knock out....im sure david letterman will be mourning this day.

Friday Morning Knockout

2009-06-25T16:04:00.002-04:00

so the fuck what if it's only thursday afternoon. i'm probably going to be busy not taking orders tomorrow so i figured i'd post this now just to be safe. This was from that Faber/Brown WEC card a few weeks ago (which was pretty kick ass) so some of you may have already seen it--but probably not.

Introducing the Koobzie

2009-06-25T15:54:00.002-04:00

yes, that's boob koozie. although i'm not sure that it's an effective way to keep your beer cold

Asshole of the Week: Lucas Glover

2009-06-24T09:55:00.001-04:00

This asshat had the temerity to shoehorn himself into the limelight at the U.S. Open this weekend. Not only did he manage to make a valiant run at the championship, he fucking won. Thanks, dickhead.

So I was watching the Open with one eye and your sister’s sex tape with the other, hoping against hope that Tiger or Phil would weasel their way into the mix. No dice. Why? Because Captain Anonymous decided to crash the party. Learn how to be a lovable underdog, you vanilla bastard. You hang around and hang around then falter towards the end so the dark overlords of your sport get all the glory. That’s the way it works! That’s why the first Rocky movie won the Oscar and the rest of them were disposable (okay IV was pretty good).

Here’s the 3 storylines you roofied and date raped:

1. The Phil/Amy storyline – You know what would’ve been amazing? One of the more likable golfers of this generation has an attractive wife with a horrible disease. How many chill bumps would’ve been induced by Big Mick’s run at the championship? Plenty. But no, a veritable Storm Trooper of a golfer has to march out of anonimity and be the answer to the trivia question that fucks you over at the bar 3 years from now.

2. David Duval’s return – Honestly, I didn’t know this guy was still alive. Either way, it was exciting to see his smug face and those blade style Oakleys that went out of style in the summer of ‘96. Wouldn’t have been great to see a once prominent (I think he was ranked #1 for a while) hacker work his way back into form and finalize his climb with a major? Let me answer for you: YES, it would’ve been really cool. Instead, a guy who’s usually like the black guy in horror movies somehow manages to cheat death and instead of getting killed in the first reel goes on to outlive (make the appropriate corrolarys in the comments) the moody guy , the nerd, the slutty chick, the comic relief guy, and then somehow bed the superhot non-slutty chick before slaughtering the villian. Again, to hell with you, Lucas Glover.

3. Tiger’s Major Pile-up – Alright, here’s the deal. I want to be able to tell my grandkids that I saw the greatest golfer who ever did or will live. I can’t have winnable majors slipping away to slapdicks like Lucas Glover. I just can’t. So stick to the fucking Farm Bureau Classic or the damn John Deere Invitational (is that a real tournament?) and leave the important shit to the big boys, ‘kay?

Congrats, Lucas. You’ve won 2 major awards this week. You are the Style Points Asshole of the Week. Now get out of here. We’ve got some real shitheads that need to be recognized.

Submission Wednesday

2009-06-24T09:12:00.003-04:00

for those of you who don't speak japanese, let me translate what the announcers were saying here:

japanese goldberg: the atmosphere is electric joe as the two warriors enter the cage
japanese rogan: Shazam
japanese goldberg: there is a palpable hue of anticipation in the air
japanese rogan: i don't know what that means--holy fucking shit the fights over.

God the Japanese are awesome

2009-06-24T09:08:00.001-04:00

Wait a second--i thought the last samurai was a white dude???

Can you believe this shit??

2009-06-23T10:07:00.003-04:00

Dear Fellow Competitor:

Due to the very limited number of golf carts at Old Memorial Golf Club, the Championship Committee has decided in the fairness to all competitors that all players will be required to walk during their qualifying round on Monday, July 6.

Reminder: All players attempting to qualify at Old Memorial must have a caddie, You may bring your own caddie or contact the club to make arrangements for a caddie.

this is what i get for signing up at old memorial. they're forcing me to get a caddie. walking is one thing, but seriously, who the fuck is going to want to caddie for a dude that couldn't break 80 if his life depended on it. and how much do you think one of the regular caddies cost? $100? fuck that, if i had $100 to throw away i'd head over to cheetah and pay that chick with one tooth and the zitty ass to give other people lap dances.

Her poor boobs just never had a chance

2009-06-23T09:16:00.000-04:00

Blonde Girls Boobs Pop Out on Mechanical Bull

The operator of this mechanical bull is a true American Hero.

Get humor videos at NothingToxic

I just have one question

2009-06-22T14:48:00.001-04:00

what the fuck is a WoW account?

Now that golf is over, i can get back to work

2009-06-22T14:36:00.001-04:00

and by work, obviously i mean blogging. anyway, here's your weekly monday nutshot. enjoy

Playground Spring Animal Nutshot - Watch more Funny Videos

This is what i'll be watching all day

2009-06-22T10:03:00.000-04:00

Breaking sports news video. MLB, NFL, NBA, NHL highlights and more.

Joke of the Day

2009-06-19T09:50:00.003-04:00

you know what i did actually have a joke but when i tried to copy and paste the damn thing it came out all screwed up and i didn't feel like typing it up word for word. anyhow, here's the jist:

-couple has romantic dinner, wife says "make love to me like they do in the movies."
-dude bends her over, shoves a bottle in her butt, donkey punches her, calls her a whore, spits in her eye, and cums in her hair.
-chick seems perplexed
-dude says "oh, i guess we don't watch the same movies

tada. i'm pretty sure i just wanted a reason to post the picture, it's really funny, i think, i don't know, YEA it's friday

Friday Morning Knockout

2009-06-19T09:41:00.003-04:00

so i missed it last week but this should make up for it. that is, unless you just saw this a couple days ago on a countless number of other websites--in which case you'll probably be a little disappointed. get used to it, chances are you life sucks anyhow and will be full of disappointments. Looks at it this way though, at least you're not selling cable...oh wait, some of you are, nevermind. well, i hear the skyway's nice this time of year...

Quite possibly the gayest thing i've ever posted

2009-06-18T16:08:00.005-04:00

and i've posted a pic of JCATO jumping into mongo's arms (think about that one). but it's a slow day and nothing speeds up a slow day like a mouthful of penis cake (at least that's what i tell jenn)

YES--Yakety sacks

2009-06-18T13:08:00.000-04:00

Chick Slams Face Through Door - Watch more Funny Videos

Submission Wednesday

2009-06-17T14:46:00.002-04:00

this is probably going to be one of the last few submission posts because they are ridiculously tough to find on the internet. maybe i'm using the wrong keywords-- i figured MMA submissions would do it but all i get are videos of the new UFC video game (which is bad ass by the way, just ridiculously hard).

I didn't come in last!!

2009-06-17T14:24:00.004-04:00

technically i beat 8 people, i realize 7 of them were no shows or withdraws but they still finished behind me. the kid i played with on monday actually won the thing, think he's only 17 and hasn't even started his senior year yet. nice kid, with a good golf game, but dude needs to stop wrecking shit when he hits the ball 5 yards off line. 50 yards off line, okay--5 yards, shut your pie hole and hit it out of the rough. if anyone's interested in my second day, i played really well on the front, shot 38 which was about as bad as i could have scored, then blew up on the back. whatever, at least i didn't get carted off with heat stroke symptoms like some fat pussy i saw behind me.

Bardmoor Golf & Tennis Club, Largo, FL

06/15/09 - 06/16/09

Ian McConnell, Riverview, FL 72-69--141 - Medalist

Brent Shaw, Tampa, FL 72-71--143 - First Alternate

Brooks Koepka, Welllington, FL 73-70--143 - Second Alternate

Larry O'Brien, Sarasota, FL 74-70--144

Arnond Vongvanij, Gainesville, FL 73-72--145

Chris Mullhaupt, Bradenton, FL 73-73--146

Liam Friedman, Lackawanna, NY 77-69--146

Joey Schluchter, Saint Petersburg, FL 72-75--147

Hayden Squadrito, Oviedo, FL 71-77--148

Tory Henderson, Bradenton, FL 78-71--149

Jack Hinton, Tampa, FL 78-72--150

Robby Carl, Valrico, FL 74-76--150

C J Whitfield, Bradenton, FL 77-76--153

Chad Stancil, Bradenton, FL 78-77--155

Micah Jacobsen, Fernandina Beach, FL 80-75--155

Sebastian Mark, Sarasota, FL 74-81--155

Theo Koulianos, Lake Mary, FL 77-79--156

Walker Yaw, Bradenton, FL 78-79--157

Erik Hosmer, Cape Coral, FL 80-78--158

Danny Chan, Clearwater, FL 80-80--160

Jim McGuire, Apollo Beach, FL 77-83--160

Christian Westhorpe, Melbourne, FL 83-81--164

Jeremy Hubai, Venice, FL 83-81--164

David Case, Sarasota, FL 84-87--171

Ryan Jaso, Sarasota, FL 89-83--172

Juan Rodriguez, Naples, FL 90-87--177

Linzy Clark, Palm Harbor, FL 81-NS--NS

A J Blackstone, Dade City, FL -NS

David Doing, Seminole, FL -NS

David Flores, Kissimmee, FL -NS

Glenn Isom, Jacksonville, FL -NC

Robert Stoll, Palm Harbor, FL -NS

Sergio Franky, Colombia -WD

Been golfing all day

2009-06-15T16:10:00.004-04:00

and getting my ASS kicked. i shot 89 today, and my playing partner shot 74. that Bardmoor course sucks, there's hidden water hazards all over the place and those asshole at the USGA wouldn't let me use GPS so i could actually see them. Fuckers. anyhow, i used two putters, and other than the 4 putt with the 50incher i really didn't roll the ball that badly. it was the 8 penalty strokes that hurt the worsy. and it was seriously 1,000 fucking degrees outside today, and since i got my legs burnt at the beach i had to wear pants. i've never been so miserable on a golf course in my life. and it turns out that there's ANOTHER round tomorrow (actually two tournament rounds for $50 is one hell of a deal but that's beside the point). oh yeah, we had to walk too. i'm starting to hate golf. on a positive note, big willy destroyed an armadillo last week, so that's one less of those fuckers that can tear up my yard.

The Tutaledge of Randy Tutaledge

2009-06-12T08:59:00.002-04:00

9 other Zach Galifianakis clips here

We're not talking about the Magic game

2009-06-12T08:49:00.003-04:00

instead, here are a bunch of hot puerto ricans (redundant i know)

Daddy is not coming on anything

2009-06-11T16:25:00.003-04:00

For those of us who wondered what Kumar would look like with implants and a bikini. i think Harold looks a bit like Tila Tequilia...

We have Confirmation--GSP likes Fat Chicks

2009-06-11T12:07:00.005-04:00

Apparently this wasn't breaking news, as this Sherdog comment was posted back in 08. the jungle fever thing might be news though, so we here at RJB retain full rights to this story. that's probably the key to all his success, constant Slump Busting. Maybe i should get jenn to gain a few pounds and i could challenge for the title.

Oh Yeah

2009-06-11T10:51:00.003-04:00

Saved by the Bell: Part 2

Score: 100% (12 out of 12)

that's right bitches, %100. they almost got me with questions 10 and 11 but i persevered. just like the jews through the desert, oh yes, i persevered. take the test for yourself here

Carlos Pena Dance

2009-06-11T10:07:00.001-04:00

Apparently this is the reason Carlos Pena came out of his slump last night. At least that's what Charo over there told me...

a little something for the champ

2009-06-10T22:25:00.002-04:00

in an attempt at gaining some famous celebrity sort followers, weve posted a teaser vid for the welter weight champ. the word is GSP loves sizable, black woman....and after the "single ladies" trio posted several months ago (ban on duplicate postings prohibits its posting now) who could blame him...sorry mandy moore as much as youve tried over the years your ass just isnt big enough!

A new feature here at RJB

2009-06-10T11:54:00.004-04:00

well i THINK i figured out how to upload PDF files to the blog so my first attempt is a research document compliments of big willy. as everyone is surely aware willy g works for a company that "provides investment research and investment management to global institutional investors." In other words, you're getting free insight and info, from people that are much smarter than you. willy's words:

Attached is a presentation on the current state of the housing market, put together by T2 Partners. T2 was one of the first firms to predict the housing collapse several years ago and have done an excellent job explaining how we got in this situation and where we go from here. T2 believes housing prices will bottom sometime in the middle of 2010 with little hope of a sharp rebound anytime soon, which is in line with my firm's view. Of particular interest to me were slides 24-25, 27, 30, 63-64, 71, 75

T2 Partners Housing Presentation

Publish at Scribd or explore others: Business & Economics Research t2 housing research

Yeaaaaaaa

2009-06-10T09:10:00.004-04:00

First finals win ever for the Magic. Pretty awesome. i spent most of the game checking out the talent in the crowd though, i swear to god, if you're a chick they don't let you in the first 5 rows unless you're rocking at least double d's. don't know how those players concentrate, especially kobe who's always looking to knock boots with some random skank. speaking of kobe, it really seems like that dude can score whenever he wants (both literally and, well, literally). Pietrus had a hand in his face all night and didn't matter. i say put an underage white girl on him, that will slow him down.

beware the young calf

2009-06-09T19:19:00.002-04:00

probably one of the best lines ive heard in a movie...just after the 1 minute mark....how could any woman not be swayed by the ball-fro

kicked in the nuts monday - whatever

2009-06-09T19:01:00.002-04:00

its neither monday or a real kick to the nuts......but its the inspiration behind a half-ass blog posting.....

Zack Morris on Jimmy Fallon

2009-06-09T14:09:00.003-04:00

not quite as awesome as i had hoped, but i guarantee any Zack Attack album would go platinum immediately. worst case double mur.

Sidewinder Boobs

2009-06-09T09:59:00.002-04:00

personally, the sidewinder boob doesn't do much for me but i find the name hilarious. IMPORTANT--DON'T confuse the sidewinders with back boobs. Beth has back boobs, these chicks have sidewinders.

That's why it's called the Sex Panther

2009-06-09T09:11:00.002-04:00

in case you're wondering, not my car. thanks KC

Had to post this

2009-06-08T11:36:00.003-04:00

it's like their twins

Monday morning kick in the nuts

2009-06-08T11:23:00.003-04:00

i'm only posting this because i don't have video of the 8th inning of yesterday's ray game.

Kicked In The Nuts - Watch more Funny Videos

Son of a Biscuit

2009-06-08T11:15:00.001-04:00

that freakin close to taking game 2.

Rob wanted me to post this

2009-06-08T11:13:00.001-04:00

i think it's the italian prime minister humping a cop. i thought it was too high brow for the jasholes (that's what i'm calling my followers--for now) but he said NE. so here is:

Hey Magic

2009-06-05T09:22:00.002-04:00

Mrs Lewis called from downstairs, she said you ain't got no defense.....

Friday Morning Knockout

2009-06-05T09:02:00.001-04:00

the sound effect after the guy gets kicked in the face is my favorite part.

Sayonara Bill

2009-06-04T14:19:00.001-04:00

i realize police are saying it was death by hanging, but think it was the 5-point death touch that finally did him in.

Kung Fu and Kill Bill star David Carradine dies at the age of 73

Triumph puts Star Wars nerds on blast

2009-06-03T15:21:00.003-04:00

This will without a doubt be the best 10 minutes of your day, if not your life.
Triumph at Star Wars ep2 Premier